


Confession

by FoundingFatherTrash



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst I guess, M/M, ouch my angst sucks, trigger warning: mentions of (indirect) abuse + fire + suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 05:38:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15260589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoundingFatherTrash/pseuds/FoundingFatherTrash
Summary: Rich confesses why he set the fire.





	Confession

Rich Goranski sits in his hospital bed, in the worst pain he could ever imagine.

Why couldn’t he die right then, in the fire? He couldn’t comprehend it. He knows why he set the fire, but no one else does.

Not even his best friend, Jake Dillinger.

The thought of Jake floods Rich’s mind. Jake will never forgive him. Rich is completely sure of it. But, Jake’s friendship is something Rich could never lose. Jake means too much to Rich.

As Rich convinces himself more and more that Jake will never forgive him, the more paranoid he is of losing Jake’s friendship.

Rich chokes down a sob, his blue eyes becoming glossed with tears that he refuses to let fall. He can’t cry over possibly losing someone’s friendship.

That wouldn’t be strong of him. He’s convinced crying over losing a friendship is something a pansy would do – that he would lose his tough guy representation he’s built throughout high school.

Rich quickly calms himself down. He can’t and will not cry.

A nurse opens the door, “Rich Goranski?” She grabs Rich’s attention, “Jake Dillinger is here to see you.”

Rich gives the nurse a weak nod, prompting the nurse to move to the side to let Jake inside. Jake immediately rushes to Rich’s side.

“Hey, Jakey D.” Rich croaks out, a weak smile appearing on his face.

“Richie G.” Jake weakly says, his voice cracking as if he’s been crying for hours on end. Has Jake truly been crying?

No.

Jake couldn’t cry.

Jake is stronger than anyone can imagine. Rich can’t see tears sliding down those cheeks.

It would break Rich’s heart to see Jake cry.

“How’s it goin’?” Rich manages through another croak, “That fire was really… Really something a crazy person would do.”

 _Crazy_. The word echoes in Rich’s head.

Rich called himself crazy. He set the fire, but never, ever wants Jake to find out. Under any circumstance.

“Got myself a room at the hotel nearby…” Jake sighs, “It’s been rough.”

“I bet…” Rich begins, but trails off, unsure of how to finish.

“Hey, uh… Do you know who set the fire?” Jake inquires, “I mean, I’m sure it wasn’t you, but I just want to know.”

Rich goes quiet at the question. If Jake only knew what he went through with the SQUIP. Jake grows concerned at Rich’s silence.

“Rich?” Jake softly asks. Rich felt tears pool in his eyes.

“It… It was me.” Rich’s voice cracks as he confesses, “I just couldn’t take it anymore. I have this thing called a SQUIP, right? A little supercomputer in a pill said to improve my life. Got it freshman year, and it was great at first. It soon just started to straight out abuse me. Shock after shock, I just… I couldn’t take it anymore. It reminded me so much of.. Of my dad, I just… I can’t.” He begins to sob, “My life didn’t improve. It only went downhill.”

Rich feels two strong, yet gentle arms wrap around him.

Jake Dillinger is embracing him.

“Shhh…” Jake shushes him, “I’m sorry you had to go through that… This SQUIP thing, we’ll get rid of it. I promise.”

Rich weakly returns the embrace, unable to form any words as he sobs.

“And, Rich? I forgive you.” Jake speaks in a whisper, holding the trembling and sobbing Rich.

But, Rich could never forgive himself for what he did. He’s the reason why Jake Dillinger is homeless. However, he will try.

All for Jake.


End file.
